More than Conquerors

fishingboatproceeds: bbc-bestbromancecompany: Nerdfighter...

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:33:33 -0400

bbc-bestbromancecompany:

Nerdfighter Benedict? Or just failed Vulcan?

As far as I can tell, there are eight possibilities here. (I’ve spent a fair bit of time thinking about this.)

1. Benedict Cumberbatch is a hardcore nerdfighter and when Martin Freeman threw up a gang sign, Cumberbatch was like, “I have one of those.”

2. Cumberbatch, who obviously has a relationship with Star Trek, just naturally adapted the Vulcan sign (pulling in the thumbs, turning the palms inward, crossing the arms) in precisely the same way that I happened to adapt the Vulcan sign when I first made the nerdfighter sign in the halcyon days of 2007.

3. One of the interns on set who has gained the trust of Benedict Cumberbatch was like, “If you do your hands like this, the Internet will get really excited.” And so he did.

4. BBC, in their infinite wisdom, staged the entire photo and Cumberbatch was taught the nerdfighter sign (I MEAN LOOK AT THE PERFECTION OF HIS NERDFIGHTER SIGN! He seems so comfortable and confident in it, almost as if it is muscle memory, almost as if he has flashed it to his laptop screen on hundreds of occasions in the past, but I digress) and this photograph was staged to get people psyched for Sherlock, although what tiny segment of nerdfighteria is not already psyched for Sherlock? Also, if this is the case, who is Martin Freeman trying to advertise to? Residents of the West Side?

5. Benedict Cumberbatch has a relative or a friend who is a nerdfighter and so he is passingly familiar with nerdfighteria and liked what he has seen and wanted to make us all very happy.

6. The nerdfighter sign also happens to be the hand sign of some obscure English gang with which I am unfamiliar called like The East London Wanderers or The Slightly Intimidating Liverpudlians or whatever.

7. Nerdfighteria actually figures in the plot of the new season of Sherlock. Perhaps a nerdfighter has been (wrongly no doubt!) accused of a murder.

8. Benedict Cumberbatch was playing some kind of British version of Rock Paper Scissors against two invisible opponents, and he went double scissors (as any smart person would).

State.

Fri, 17 May 2013 19:08:00 -0400

So… one of my best friends won State. Its kind of a big deal that she’s a sophomore, its kinda a big deal that she was seeded 5-8. Its kind of a big deal that she played almost 6 perfect games. But the really big deal wasn’t any of that. The really big deal was that elite team’s friendships were tried - that each of us had to play each other in the upper bracket. The big deal is that after every game, we would cry, first because for a match, any friendship had to be forgotten, and all that mattered is killing the other side of the net. After it was clear only one would win, we would cry because time after time again, she would bring her (previously denoted-to-be-angry-coached-unfair-profane-or-otherwise-awful-and-intimidating) opponents to justice. At least I was screaming and clapping until the last points when even the thought of Stephanie winning sent me into tears.

Then she won, turned around, and burst into tears, and the rest of elite team followed suit. Seeing her dad smile for so long, thinking about everything that she deserved happening at this moment… yeah I cried for a long time. It was very happy. But even this isn’t the point; State is, as most competitors will tell you, not really explicable. So upon reflection…

First and foremost, State was humbling. Watching the top 6 play showed me the vitality of the mental game. Seeing the ebb and flow of focus and calmness reminded me that I have a long way to go before I can bring myself to that kind of zone. I placed top 24, as the bracket predicted I would, but my goal had been top 16, something that was met by Kyleen and Steph and Ailynna, but not me. I know I deserve it, but man, next year. Day 2, three more rounds ;););). At the same time, I wouldn’t have missed the championship game for anything. Fair trade.

Then there was the North state team, all girls with whom I wasn’t too close, and not particularly eager to join. In Oasis last year, I always felt like part of a family, but at state, I spent my bus rides mostly asleep, fending off Funston’s attempts to mock us, looking forward only to seeing my real Coach. Honestly, season was full of crap, which is okay, but it gave me no expectations for what “bonding” would be like this trip. It was nice to see that all the team was human but enjoyed ugly music and peanut butter spaghetti.. not that either is wrong. Music is complicated. Plus we threw fish in Schild’s toilet, balloons under her blankets, diaper cream in her bags, and TP’d her doorway, so I guess humor is a universal thing or something.

In general, apparently my sarcasm doesn’t sound like sarcasm. Oops.

And Coach Helen did stoop to give me some evaluation of my playing… after I was eliminated thx thx thx.

Anyway, justice was brought to the butts, and benevolence has won over the rest. Shout out to Stephanie, and a predictably better season next year.. along with many even harder trials.

Why my URL is weird.

Tue, 14 May 2013 23:25:22 -0400

I don’t actually actively seek to “travel so far”

When I made my tumblr in 2010 or something I liked this guy and I had a song that I would listen to and think about my 13 year old problems. It was “Set the Fire to the Third Bar” by Snow Patrol, and I didn’t want to quote a dramatic or romantic part of the song, like “you’re only finger lengths away I see” so I chose the most generic part of the song, “travelling so far.”

In case you ever wondered.

I’m gonna change my URL eventually… any suggestions?

PT named me “the Beat”, which many of you will find amusing after the senior banquet this Saturday.

equilibriation: i’m really upset right now because it’s not that i’ve forgotten anything about U.S....

Tue, 14 May 2013 23:19:11 -0400

equilibriation:

i’m really upset right now because it’s not that i’ve forgotten anything about U.S. history, i just never learned it in the first place.

in honor of every apush test I have ever taken

in honor of B+

rest in peace

Photo

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 23:42:44 -0400

If you ever catch me gossipping again will you please slap the hoe inside of me and call me a...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 18:51:00 -0400

If you ever catch me gossipping again will you please slap the hoe inside of me and call me a scandal-monger and windbag whore so I can be a better person

because this way I can look down on other people less hypocritically and put my faith into (in)action because dickbaggery is universal

evilsoutherngentleman: cosmic-cunnilingus: zenpencils: Vincent...

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 01:04:23 -0400

evilsoutherngentleman:

cosmic-cunnilingus:

zenpencils:

Vincent Van Gogh - ‘In spite of everything’

this is beautiful

I have a lot of deep and personal feelings about this. It is going to take me a minute, the wind has been knocked form me.

counterculture in the youth was a post Vietnam thing who knew

addresses dickbaggery, among other things. worth every cent, if...

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 01:00:24 -0400

addresses dickbaggery, among other things. worth every cent, if I had any money

Rancid

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 00:28:48 -0400

I keep forgetting that when I say anything it actually means that I don’t listen or care about anybody. My bad, sorry for seeming like I hate everyone except for the camel. Sorry for belittling the entire North’s badminton team, because even though we stretch for like, half an hour, I guess every school’s team isn’t serious either. At least our coaches are nice and don’t take stabs at other coaches (Glenbard East, what the crap). At least we have team spirit and scream and bang bus windows after every meet. At least we win a lot. Because winning is everything, except food and friends.

Excuse me for victimizing myself for a couple paragraphs.

Ahem. I understand that talking is a thing, as I have frequently enjoyed such a pasttime, even when I’m getting a B+ in chemistry. Gossip is super fun, and people are super stupid and assuming, which makes the entanglements pulled out of literal air(heads) a great and fascinating enigma. I spent a great deal of hours mastering titrations (25/25 on the quiz!!! still a B+ though) while whispers of everything I have ruined in my lifetime of friendships circles around my sleeping body (its actually sleeping… I sleep a lot everywhere now.)

Does anyone want to tell me something about how life is a downward spiral and how long-distance is really difficult or like, drugs or pretentiousness or something? Friends did that at some point, I think. If its after this graduating year though, everyone still sucks for not caring until they think I’m depressed. I guess its possible, that I’ll be sad because the time I haven’t spent with normal lunch people has grown logistically (calc reference, calc reference) greater than the time I have spent partaking in all the more belittling other people’s mistakes. But when I’m sad, it looks like I won’t be going my people anymore, not that I take any pride in calling them my people anymore. I guess there are still marathons to run, designs to draw, math to do.

Also, I read Matthew 5 two days ago, and it rebuked me of all of this passive anger. Does this mean I should give up on everyone who has been on a nonstop rampage of looking down on me? Or should I submit to being humble, ‘fess up that I’ve been of awful character, still drugless, by the way, and renew the life that was once in me?

I think one of the reasons I feel so close to elite team is that through the mingling of sweat, puddle by puddle, winter through summer, blood after broken ankle, blisters after ugly toes, the ability to judge each other is squelched. We’re stripped of our pride as we change in and out of our soaking, rancid shirts. We watch each other make the most embarrassing mistakes, utilize the dumbest strategies, and still we run our mile (I swear its at least a mile now) warmup together. Even when Ailynna’s patient serves are long and frustrating, even when Stephanie pokes me too much, even when Justin is too confident because he’s a boy, we come back together. Who cares if we have problems back home, when we know that there is always a couple hours of freedom here? Who cares about that boy, those friends, those parents, if we’re just people who enjoy only the thrill of being in lunge-induced pain?

In conclusion, who cares? I might care too much, so I might regret posting this later. But since there is some general agreement that I don’t talk to people or something, this will have to suffice. You have all sucked as much as I have. If we stopped talking about people out of insecurity or boredom and otherwise false concern, it would be nice.

Photo

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 23:42:54 -0400

Photo

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 23:41:05 -0400

You there, bro, gimme a hug. You are awesome.

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 23:26:01 -0400

http://25.media.tumblr.com/68b62a36637759e6a1d11141e23c66ad/tumblr_mll1pi6bNm1qjsbn3o2_500.png

http://24.media.tumblr.com/e7fab0032382ff51685186ecb9273d53/tumblr_mliey5M2lZ1so5u1po1_500.gif

Choose if you want the man or the woman role.. and feel the hug <3

Science Olympiad: Year 2, and smoke

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 23:31:00 -0400

This past weekend, I missed:

1. North’s spectacular loss to Central, a feat which has been repeated for the past 20 years or something.

2. A tournament, and a couple friends’ tournaments. However, upon hearing that STEPHANIE LIN BEAT JESSICA GOMEZ, I made violent fistpumps and felt incredibly happy that TF South has fallen. Suck those noodles. Also, Ailynna is probably the only undefeated seed at state. I’m crying, mostly because I have fumes of peppermint flying around my face.

3. Drama or something. I keep forgetting if I care or not.

This past weekend, I experienced:

1. 6 total hours on the bus ride to and from UIUC. 7 if you count transport from our 1.5 star, smoke-ridden hotel. These hours were spent sleeping and falafelling, both which can be considered reasonably enjoyable activities compared to studying.

2. The accumulation of 6 months of officially being allowed to hug this one guy in public. These 6 months also seem to have encapsulated a lot of sniveling friends and sad people… Regardless, at the strike of 12:04 AM, we sat alone in a hotel room… playing ThinkInvisible and participating in prayer. Other activities included pretending to watch the making of Shrek and reading the last chapter of Samuel 2, which I didn’t get until the last two sentences. At this point, Sunny would make a joke about 6, but I’ll leave that for him to snicker over.

3. 3 hours of sleep from 2:30 to 5:30 am. This occurred in a room drenched in heavy smoke and Fabreze, both which clogged my respiratory system to this day. My nose doesn’t function unless I’m walking or running, which made sleep, all 9 hours of bedtime and 2 hours of floor napping almost not worth it.

4. 10 miles, in efforts to remedy my nasal issues. It worked, except the cold air seared through my nostrils. Also, when I stopped, breathing became a hassle again.

5. A lecture from my mother, who told me that the improvement in my grades was not good enough, and that she didn’t want to put pressure on me, but I wasn’t studying as hard as she did, because she knows real studying, and I clearly haven’t delved deeply enough into my academic material to truly appreciate my studies.

6. No homework, but I can barely breathe, so I excused myself.

my bby duck does NOT do drugs. Period. No, not like period as in hormones and ickiness, period as in POINT MADE. The end. Yes. You are the best, and that is why OUR RAINBOWS ARE MADE OF SWEAT //totally not hyper// yes love you have a lovely evening, duck ~

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:40:28 -0400

okay as much as the title “bby” has never struck me as that affectionate, the rainbow sweat part….. <3

What do you mean you dont believe in good food. :C

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 21:48:31 -0400

Well, anything tastes good if you’re hungry, and only trash desserts like ice cream and cookies taste good when you’re full. Also, there is no lobster or cream puff luxurious enough to be worth more than $1 per oz. Maybe more if the fisherman was working under oppressive conditions. I guess I hate it when people charge or pay too much for food? And when people obsess over things like meat that’s too salty or soup that’s too weak. We’re lucky to have bread, yet we complain that the challah bread is too try and the sandwich is an inch too short.

Sodexho cardboard that is tortillas is technically food. The difference between tater tots and Chipotle is minimal. The glorification of tapioca bubble tea and Wendy’s bacon burger is overrated.

Like, have you ever thought about having pancakes for dinner? I think we’ve advanced to the point where a grapefruit is a good breakfast, but like, what about turkey roll?

"no one likes you"

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 21:34:00 -0400

For the past two weeks, there were several occasions when I woke up to a single strand of thought, that there was absolutely no reason to be awake. I would mentally scroll through the coming day; I would eat breakfast and uncomfortably wedge myself into math team practice. I would tolerate APUSH and AP Physics B while thinking about how uncomfortable I was. I would think about how much I appreciated Mr. Pearson’s critique and how much I would hate to write my essay. Calculus would be review - I’d probably get an A- on a quiz. For another two hours, I would pretend to not talk to anyone, and by AP Chem I’d time the shutting of my eyelids perfectly to Mrs. Brucker’s turned head. I would enjoy Adv. Chem, feeling myself briefly cool down, only to go to badminton practice, where for a mile or two, I’d feel the freedom in running, happily cloaked in a layer of sweat that invited the rest of the team to either ignore or judge me. I would drill with Christine, mostly because she cares about the same things as I do, but partly because, as Funston said, “No one except me likes you.” I would feel the satisfying smack of the birdie over and over, honor to elite team, but feel the punch in my stomach when I remember that I’m not number 1. I would go home, shivering in the shower, pretend to study for chemistry, and despise the occasional parental rebuke. I would try to go to sleep at 10:30 and end up reading until 11, half because I can’t stand being awake, half because I can’t stand sleeping the poor time away.

And repeat, with an F here, a A+ there, a good game here, a nice friend there. There are still ups and downs, but I feel like it has all unhinged into artless pool of acrylic phonies. When my friends are actually talking to me, rather than about me, I end up wishing I was alone on a clean track or field, watching a good badminton game, or track meet, or anything that requires the unsuspecting but acute observation of a quiet bystander. My parents want to pay for me to get into somewhere like Yale or Dartmouth, but I’m sure that I, as well as my entire overarchingly superior class knows, will be lucky enough to convince my parents to let me apply to Berkeley.

I guess in the end, the plan is for me to love what God has given me all the more. When school is over, I’ll probably fall in love with sunsets again, rage and fury over badminton in efforts to rightfully claim the #1 spot next year, better a couple friendships, and run as much as possible (this is after I get over being angry at my parents for sending me to a UC math class on advanced geo and knot theory). I’ll probably amass at least 10 more permanent scars, although none as red and pulsing as the one that I still have from falling off my bike whilst my fixing my hair going downhill. I won’t care about people who dislike me, because college will be a year away, and senior year is full of bigger dreams than trying to prove that Sunny isn’t “dragging me down.” To those people, you guys suck. I don’t know if its selective hearing, gossip vine shimmiing (spelling?), or pure ignorance, but apparently everything I say is wishful bullcrap, while whatever travels by mouth of the public is stunning and terrible truth. But you’re probably my friends, and I probably like you for some reason, so its dismissable. We can still make funny wall posts with each other or something.

For anyone who TLDNR’d this, just to clarify, I did not do drugs, or accept laced M and M’s of any sort. The effects of LSD taken under supervision sound pretty cool, but really, I can’t even let myself take laxatives.

While on this note, I also don’t believe in advanced water bottles, arch supports, doctors, or good food.

Freedom is Here.: Sometimes we just can’t take the bloody truth. But most of the time,...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 20:36:18 -0400

Freedom is Here.: Sometimes we just can’t take the bloody truth. But most of the time,...:

jiapwnz:

Sometimes we just can’t take the bloody truth. But most of the time, it’s just that no one tells us it.

Me and my church brothers made an oath to always rebuke each other and call each other out when something we do is not Godly or is just wrong. At first it didn’t go so well, but over time I…

laurenjoreo: fuckmeteasemetouchmepleaseme: xowanderlustox: emm...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 22:49:06 -0400

laurenjoreo:

fuckmeteasemetouchmepleaseme:

xowanderlustox:

emma-stone-is-a-babe:

quiet:

conveys:

list lust lest last or lost how do
you know for sure you can’t know for sure

last :(

I love this because everyone sees a different word and wow

lost

lust <3

Lost

loopiest

spiritualinspiration: Remember, our battles are spiritual...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 22:30:06 -0400

spiritualinspiration:

Remember, our battles are spiritual battles. The people in your life aren’t the source of your problems, the forces of darkness are. When you choose to be still and know that the Greater One lives on the inside of you, you are putting yourself in a position of strength. So today, take time to be still before Him. Let His peace cover you. Let Him refresh you by His Spirit. Remember, the battles you face belong to the Lord. Be still before Him so you can see His hand of victory in every area of your life!

"Under the cover of darkness, people do things they’d never do under the harsh glare of day...."

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 20:47:18 -0400

“Under the cover of darkness, people do things they’d never do under the harsh glare of day. Decisions feel wiser, people feel bolder. But when the sun rises, you have to take responsibility for what you did in the dark and face yourself under the cold, harsh light of day.”

- Grey’s Anatomy (via creatingaquietmind)

is grey’s anatomy a legit thing because proverbs is kind of like this